Just Prune That Bonsai…

Calm your mind, says the therapist. Well, I’m sitting here right now and typing out my thoughts in an ATTEMPT to stay calm. How’s it working, did someone say? Fine. It’s…working…fine…sorry, got distracted there by the sound of my grinding teeth. And I was doing so well. Then we had to have staff meeting where … [Expand…]

Business Connections and Arch Supports

The best thing about working here is that you get to know all kinds of interesting people. I managed to land myself a job in sales, and when you change industries as much as we do, that means you touch base with practically every industry in Melbourne. Seriously, just name a field. I’ve probably had … [Expand…]

Table Tennis, for Fun AND Profit

I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again at the staff meeting this afternoon for good measure: we need a table tennis table. For real, it’ll bring down the stress and encourage good team communication. You can’t be angry at someone if you’ve been playing table tennis with them. It’s the instant … [Expand…]

Toolboxes Are Cool, for Now

You could say I’ve never worked an honest day in my life. This is my first job after uni, and if I stay here it looks like the ‘not working’ thing is going to stick, because whatever I’m doing here doesn’t feel like work. You know, because it’s so pointless. Maybe that’s just all office … [Expand…]

The Annual Survey

Oh great, the yearly employee questionnaire. ‘Would you consider yourself loyal to the company?’ is always my favourite question; always makes me laugh. Would I consider myself loyal to a company where the bosses are ghosts, we never know what we’re working on and there doesn’t even seem to be a solid product or service … [Expand…]

Too Many Toasters

Toasters. They are the great evil. Toasters and hair dryers, both of them are a blight on the energy usage of mankind, for real. The big bosses sent a very angry email asking why our office is using more power than average. I should’ve realised it from the start, but I had to take a … [Expand…]

I Guess We’re Not Doing Platforms Any More?

So, wow, that thing happened. One of the actual managers descended from on high to visit our humble office. Sure, they arrived in a limo and the guy didn’t take off his sunglasses the entire time he was talking, and…there was the speech. The incredibly terrifying motivational speech, after which he got in his limo … [Expand…]

Blessed Be Me, the Peacemaker

Cannot BELIEVE Sally isn’t taking responsibility for the parking mess she’s created. We have a booking system, which SOME people don’t seem to realise. Sally swears she switched with Amy, who’s on holiday and can’t corroborate the story. But then Neil says he booked the space two months ago and his booking has been lost, … [Expand…]

Flying Premium Economy to Success

Finally, I’m moving up in this company! Of course, that might mean I’m eventually initiated into the ranks of the shadowy order of the bosses, who communicate only via email and probably spend most of their time in a dark room inside a glowing magic circle. I mean, like…that’s the image I have of them. … [Expand…]