See, I Actually Do Some Work Around Here

The way I see it, I’m getting paid to fill a seat, and maybe do some good deeds. I’m such a good person, really. The whole time I’ve worked here I haven’t done a shred of work, to the point where I’ve turned looking like I’m working into an art form. Not that the boss … [Expand…]

Property Seminars Are Nice, I Guess

The managers are being nice, and that means something is up. I can’t say what it is, because I really don’t have a precedent to go on, but…it’s got to be something. They don’t just get all snuggly out of nowhere…they probably want to announce a company-wide weekend working policy, and they’re trying to soften … [Expand…]

Lighting that ISN’T Terrible

Funny how we’re now dealing with lighting, when the stuff we have in the office is total trash. It’s that really bland, white light that just bleeds through the ceiling and makes everyone look terrible. Woe betide anyone with skin imperfections, because you’re going to look even worse working in this office. I know that … [Expand…]

Funny Plumbing Books

One thing I don’t often see talked about in coffee table books is plumbing. Funny animals and beautiful scenery? They’re all very nice, but they’ve been done time and time again, and it’s time for something fresh. I happen to know a particularly hilarious cartoonist who specialises in all things to do with plumbing, and … [Expand…]

Just Prune That Bonsai…

Calm your mind, says the therapist. Well, I’m sitting here right now and typing out my thoughts in an ATTEMPT to stay calm. How’s it working, did someone say? Fine. It’s…working…fine…sorry, got distracted there by the sound of my grinding teeth. And I was doing so well. Then we had to have staff meeting where … [Expand…]

Business Connections and Arch Supports

The best thing about working here is that you get to know all kinds of interesting people. I managed to land myself a job in sales, and when you change industries as much as we do, that means you touch base with practically every industry in Melbourne. Seriously, just name a field. I’ve probably had … [Expand…]

Table Tennis, for Fun AND Profit

I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again at the staff meeting this afternoon for good measure: we need a table tennis table. For real, it’ll bring down the stress and encourage good team communication. You can’t be angry at someone if you’ve been playing table tennis with them. It’s the instant … [Expand…]

Toolboxes Are Cool, for Now

You could say I’ve never worked an honest day in my life. This is my first job after uni, and if I stay here it looks like the ‘not working’ thing is going to stick, because whatever I’m doing here doesn’t feel like work. You know, because it’s so pointless. Maybe that’s just all office … [Expand…]

The Annual Survey

Oh great, the yearly employee questionnaire. ‘Would you consider yourself loyal to the company?’ is always my favourite question; always makes me laugh. Would I consider myself loyal to a company where the bosses are ghosts, we never know what we’re working on and there doesn’t even seem to be a solid product or service … [Expand…]