The Stanley Comparable

Wow, I’ve never been given the opportunity to write on here before. I’ve been working with the company for almost a decade now, but I’d only ever heard stories about the famous blog. When my team leader came around to my little cubicle on floor 17C and said it was finally my turn, I almost didn’t believe him. I almost said, “Terry, you’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been working here for ten years and never heard anything about this. This is a joke, right?” Thankfully I held my tongue and followed him up to the secret blog writing room, with the secret computer and the secret chairs, on floor 57.

This room is amazing. I get half an hour to write on the blog, about whatever I want, and then I can just hang out and play some pinball for another half an hour. That’s pretty awesome. It actually reminds me of those old buildings I used to visit in Melbourne. Hyperbaric oxygen therapies were my go-to to improve my health. They’re always such a relaxing place, even in the waiting room. Of course, these days they even have portable hyperbaric chambers, which is pretty crazy.

I suppose I should write a little bit about myself, otherwise, this blog post could have been written by anybody. What is my job at the company? Well, it’s interesting, actually. I hope this doesn’t get me fired, but I’m not entirely sure what my job is. I was supposed to have a meeting with the CEO on my interview day, but apparently he called in sick. So what I do is sit in my cubicle and press a single button on my desk repeatedly. What it does, I have no idea. What’s kind of concerning to me is that I think I’m starting to go crazy, after ten years in the job. Sometimes I swear I can hear a mysterious voice calling out to me, like a narrator of sorts. He tells me what to do, but I try to ignore him. Maybe it’s time to go back to the hyperbaric therapy.

– Stanley