I love writing on the employee blog because I can smash out a post in half an hour, even though the allocated time is an hour and a half. I basically get an extra lunch break, which is awesome. Am I worried about being caught by posting this? Not really, since the only person who could punish me is the company CEO and frankly, I’m not even sure he still works here. I’ve never even met the guy, so I’m starting to think he just disappeared one day but everyone is too afraid of him to start asking questions. So we just continue our work with the phantom threat of the boss who probably doesn’t exist anymore.
Today I’ve been assigned the task of selling thornless roses for one reason or another. I can’t imagine a major corporation like us makes that much money off flower sales but I don’t get paid to ask questions. I’ve been calling numbers at random, asking whoever picks up if they need some roses. I’ve already sold half of my quota, meaning this afternoon should be pretty easy. It’s surprising how many people want roses when you ask them. Of course, there are a few mix-ups. When I say that I’m selling thornless roses, people often think that you’re selling all kinds of roses. They ask if I’ve got dwarf roses or Brindabella roses and I have to tell them that a whole other department of the company sells those.
Even with the confusion, I still prefer to sell roses than custom screwdrivers that light up. The battery life in them is terrible, which means I get a flood of calls a few days after selling them. It’s not fun, so I’ll take thornless roses any day.
Well, this blog post is pretty much done, so it’s time to start thinking about my long lunch break. Maybe I’ll go see a movie. I hear that the new Marble Cinematic Universe film is pretty good. What was it, Commander Canada? I never thought they’d be able to turn him into a cool hero but Johnathan Shallow was a great choice to play him. Maybe he can pull it off.