Meetings, Conferences, Anything Except Work

inspirational business speakerI’ll take more meetings any day. Like, meetings, conferences, emergency team briefings, whatever it takes to get me out of that cubicle. Boss needs volunteers to go downstairs and pick up the paper delivery? I’ll do it. And you can bet I’ll be spending a good chunk of time doing it as well, along with bathroom breaks and whatever else I can find to pad it out.

I’m kind of confused about this one, though. The whole office is scheduled for this mandatory session with a professional conference speaker, and obviously I was pretty chuffed that the whole thing was taking all day. Who has time to actually work when you could be doing something that’s meant to make you work? But then, that’s the whole thing: the conference is on increasing productivity in the office. Uh…how do I win here? I’m going along to skive off work for a whole day, but I’m getting taught how to work harder. What if I come out of the whole thing as another worker drone, all obsessed with results and putting in overtime for the sake of the company?

Okay, checking out the syllabus…okay, so it’s all about correcting your ‘self talk’ and telling yourself that you don’t need to be wasting time. I don’t know what I was expecting, but…honestly the whole thought of working hard doesn’t appeal to me at all, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to hold onto my slacker philosophy after I’ve been listening to a keynote speaker for a whole day. They always know what to say to get people motivated, because they’re called motivational speakers I guess, so maybe I won’t be able to resist. Their words will cut me to my heart and that’ll be it; no more fun days, no more fun methods of skipping doing work. This inspirational business speaker is going to make me productive. And I can’t get out of it, because that would mean actually doing work.

-Gus

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