Because it’s All About You, Darla

window repairsDarla wants the files on her desk by Monday? Oh, NO problem, Darla. Never mind that the only reason I was late was you parking in my designated space, meaning that I had to find a shady spot fifteen minutes’ walk away and I’m now just hoping and praying that the parking inspectors are merciful today. But never mind, everything revolves around Darla.

I swear, if she sends me one more email about these files I’m going to round up a bag of angry possums, made angrier by being in a bag, and set them loose in her office. No one can prove it was me. I hardly even know what they’re about, because I’m still working on the files from yesterday. I think someone in Melbourne needed aluminium window replacements and they’re making a financial claim. We have had a lot of storms recently, come to think of it. No broken windows in my place because I’m fortunately not near any trees, but I can imagine a few people have been woken in the night by branches making an unauthorized entrance to their home. Gosh, can you imagine? I’m reading some of these claims right now and it seems just awful. And it’s not just the glass everywhere; it’s that you have to get it boarded up really quickly otherwise all the rain pours in. Phew…glad it happened to them and not me!

Well, no, I’m not glad it happened to them. If it hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have a form to file and I wouldn’t have to travel all the way up to floor five to drop this stuff off on Darla’s desk because she’s too lazy to pick it up from her pigeonhole like everyone else. Because you’re just better than everyone else, aren’t you Darla? I bet if the windows were broken in her house, she’d flutter her eyelashes and hold up her lanyard and all the window replacement professionals in Melbourne would come running. Anything for the area manager. Anything for Darla.

I’m not jealous, pfft.

-Geraldine

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