We Deal with Beauty, Apparently

dermal fillersWe do beauty products? And also own beauty brands? Seriously, what the heck does this company even do?

I’d look into it if I wasn’t so busy fielding calls from sixteen-year-old girls saying that they need anti wrinkle treatments in Melbourne, or…tattooing of eyebrows somewhere right now or they’re going to be off-fleek for the school dance, or prom, or the formal, or whatever they’re calling it nowadays. I don’t know what ‘fleek’ is, I don’t know how you’d tattoo eyebrows on someone and I’m honestly too afraid to ask how they lost their eyebrows in the first place. I’m thinking it was some kind of mass campfire incident. Like, those dangerous social media trends where people slide down steps on tea-trays. ‘The Campfire Challenge’, I’m guessing, involving people sticking their heads above the flame and spraying it with deodorant. I just don’t understand kids.

I don’t really understand cosmetic tattooing either, although Google assures me that this is a real thing. Like, girls get it done. Guys get it done too, probably. Then again, my daughters spend far too much time in front of the mirror every day, so having that stuff tattooed on would save so much time. Like…it’d cut out half an hour each morning at least. Then maybe I’d stand a chance of getting to work on time instead of standing at the door and wringing my hands as they assure me that they’ll definitely be done in thirty minutes, oh come on we all know that’s a lie, Sarah. Perils of being a single father and also a personal taxi service for any teenage girl bearing my last name who snaps her fingers.

Sorry, I’m just…it’s been a busy morning trying to ping-pong calls elsewhere to people who know where you can actually get dermal fillers in Ballarat or wherever. I swear, there’s some major miscommunication happening between departments here. It’s chronic.


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