Too Many Toasters

commercial energy monitoringToasters. They are the great evil.

Toasters and hair dryers, both of them are a blight on the energy usage of mankind, for real. The big bosses sent a very angry email asking why our office is using more power than average. I should’ve realised it from the start, but I had to take a walk through the office to see what I could find. Toasters and hairdryers everywhere, and that’s just the start. When I got the boss job, I thought I was helping everyone by instituting a relaxed office policy. Now everyone makes their desks their own, and that means eating meals there, doing hair and makeup and then there’s Jenkins over there in the corner with his wraparound flat-screen TV setup.

And now? We’re having industrial energy monitoring being imposed on the office, and I have to tell everyone about it. That’s going to be a fun staff meeting, and the thing is, I don’t even disagree. I saw our energy usage stats and they’re through the roof. Perils of letting people bring in toaster ovens, microwaves and surround-sound systems. There are enough bar-plugs lying around to provide power to a small third-world nation, and every now and then the whole place trips and someone has to go outside and flip the circuit breaker. So yeah, things are bad, and it needs to stop. No more neon-lit fish tank setups, and all the hairdryers need to go. Those things are positively evil when it comes to consuming power, and the noise they make is just plain distracting to everyone. In fact, I’ll be glad to be rid of the toasters as well; sometimes at the end of the week, before the cleaners arrive, the floor turns into some kind of crumb apocalypse.

I shouldn’t have let it get this far, obviously. The fact that we even need commercial energy monitoring is all on me. Still, I’m looking forward to walking through the office without a hairdryer roaring at me from half the cubicles.


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