I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again at the staff meeting this afternoon for good measure: we need a table tennis table. For real, it’ll bring down the stress and encourage good team communication. You can’t be angry at someone if you’ve been playing table tennis with them. It’s the instant equivalent to sitting with someone in a day-spa for six hours, talking about your feelings and having a massage while breathing in relaxing incense. Except quicker.
I know what everyone’s going to say as well. “Ugh, shut UP, Todd! No one cares, Todd! You bring that up at every single staff meeting, Todd!”
Well EXCUSE ME for trying to foster a bit of team spirit around here. But trust me, I used to work in the sports netting business, and I’ve seen how it brings people together. You feel like the ice-cream man, driving around and bringing joy to children, except you’re bringing joy and peace to adults by replacing their sports netting and watching as all their problems vanish like the morning mist. Mostly. I mean, you do get the really competitive people who get angry even over a simple game, so you have to watch out for them. They’re often the reason we have to replace the equipment in the first place, so it’s something to keep in mind, but…still. I can guarantee, once you get two people having an argument over whatever- parking spaces, stolen mugs, accidentally eaten lunches- and make them play table tennis, the tension just defuses like you’ve snipped the red wire on their argument.
Maybe people wouldn’t be so tense in here if they listened to my suggestions. You know what? Stuff democracy. I’m coming in early tomorrow and setting up my table tennis table, whether they like it or not. I spent half my life setting up cricket nets and all sorts, I know what I’m doing. And this office is going to have fun, darnit.
-Todd, Fun Captain