I Need a Nap in a Glass Box

Melbourne oxygen therapyYou know what I hate? Michael. No, he doesn’t get to be referred to as a person, on account of him being just terrible. He’s that kind of person who comes across as SO helpful, everyone loves him, but it just makes me sick. No one is that happy and cheerful all the time, so it must be some kind of ulterior motive. It’s that, or he’s on drugs. Or both! He’s acting so happy and cheerful because he’s on drugs, and then once we’re all on side Michael is going to try to sell US drugs. I’m going to have to tell the management about this.

I just can’t deal with this right now, since my phone is ringing off the hooks with calls I just don’t know how to deal with. Although it HAS given me an idea. We keep getting calls from people asking for the Melbourne Oxygen Therapy Research Institute. I checked their actual number and it’s nothing like ours, so why are we getting their calls? Has management mixed up again and not told us we have a new client who does oxygen therapy??

It’s some thing where you get inside a glass chamber and…breathe in more oxygen than usual, I guess. Apparently it’s great for health, healing and mood. Ha, I could use a bit of that! More so, however, maybe this is how Michael does it. He comes to work every day basically high on oxygen fumes. Unfortunately I couldn’t find anything negative about this, so I can’t report him to the management. In fact, they’d probably send me off to find these hyperbaric chamber people and get them to have one installed in the office to lower stress levels. Maybe that’s not such a bad idea. Every time Michael beamed at me and asked how my day was going, I could just crawl into my glass box and breathe all the bad stuff away. So portable hyperbaric chambers in Melbourne are the new trend? Maybe it’s not such a bad thing…that is, if people stop calling us about them, because no, I can’t give any advice about how they work. I just shuffle papers!

-Pearl

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