From Dry Needling to Hazmat Suits

dry needling“Hello, do you do acupuncture?”

That was my first call this morning. Oh, joy, the shady bosses are at it again, giving us clients we didn’t even know we had! Last I heard we were supposed to be selling inflatable pool rings, so the concept of puncturing something should be the furthest thing on our minds. It continued throughout the day, though; “can I book a dry needling course?” “do you offer dry needling courses in New Zealand?” “I heard dry needling was the same as acupuncture, but Sharon said…”

I don’t care what Sharon said. What I DO care about is having to hurriedly look up dry needling, so we can direct people to the right courses because apparently we’re doing that now. In case anyone was wondering, according to Slickipedia, dry needling involves targeting trigger points to treat myofascial pain syndrome. I also had to look up what that was, which pretty quickly had me convinced that I was wracked with a host of symptoms from every disease known to man, from lyme disease all the way to irritable bowel syndrome. I mean, I can’t be sure, but sometimes when I get hungry my stomach rumbles. A typical reaction, you say? I’ve always thought so, but it could also be a symptom of tapeworm, or oncoming acid reflux!!

I know I strayed off the topic of dry needling, but I just had to check this out, so I talked to Sharlene. And guess what: SHE said her stomach rumbles sometimes as well! She checked with Tatiana, who said she can hear Carson rumbling from over the cubicle. He got involved, and pretty soon the entire office was buzzing as they delved into the web and discovered that they were suffering from a host of deadly, contagious diseases. Naturally, I had to shut down the office for the week until everyone can get checked out. I suppose everyone will have to find their own dry needling courses, at least until I can confirm that my office didn’t spontaneously transform into a hazmat zone.


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