I’ve noticed that we don’t use leeches in medicine very much any more. Like, in medical school, I kept thinking we were going to be coming to the leeches unit. I checked the course, and I thought it might’ve fallen under another one of the headings. There was nothing for ‘potions’ either. I was really looking forward to brewing me some sweet, sweet life-giving potions. I guess here in the big city, they do things differently, and even all these years into my course I keep expecting we’ll cover that other stuff that my local doctor uses. I guess not. Maybe I’ll have to introduce it.
I mean, it’s not for lack of trying. You’ve probably heard that medical students really know how to party, because it’s the only way to let off steam when you’ve had to memorise seventeen different bones in the hand and your brain feels like it’s about to explode. The college manages to rent a function room in the heart of Melbourne pretty much every time, some of them with views of the whole city.
Even as a simple country person, I really appreciate those nights. Such majesty and splendour! The best view I got was from the hill just above Rodney’s farm, and all you could see were the twenty or so houses that made up our town. It seemed like a majestic view, until you get to a function room in Melbourne and you stand there looking at all the pretty lights, a fancy drink in your hand. ALL the drinks here are fancy. I think it’s some kind of rule.
Still, no one really seems interested in listening to my great ideas. Most seem to think that I’m nuts or something. Just for wanting to use medical techniques that have been prevalent for thousands of years! Alright, so maybe the private venues aren’t receptive. They’re full of people who’ve been indoctrinated into the big city ways. But I’m sure if I took my platform public, people would respond. Not a private function room, but Melbourne itself. Someone will listen. Leeches are making a comeback, I tell you!